Words spoken. Words written. Words shouted. Words whispered. Do they mean anything? If we believe what we hear and read, then yes, because believing gives those words meaning. And yet, if you choose to ignore those same words, they become sounds and symbols without meaning. How many times have I told myself, those are only words and that they don’t mean anything?
Countless times. More than 56 months worth of times. How many days is that? It doesn’t matter. Why? Because…
Nothing has changed. I’m still primary residential parent. My daughter still lives with me. I have most of the parental responsibilities. Amongst the lies, the false accusations, the threats, emergency pleadings, regular pleadings, four trials, more pleadings nothing has really changed. Words. Only words. Ignore the words and look at what you have. Ask yourself, has anything changed?
When I get scared because words are against me stating I’m going to lose my daughter, I become mindful. right now, right this moment, everything is perfect. Nothing has changed. My child is safe. I am safe. I am recovering. I am rebuilding. I am reinventing.
Fear leaves. Peace enters.
It’s a game of words. Courts want facts. Facts are documented words that cannot be changed. Documented words include test messages, photos, recordings, voice messages, emails, etc. The Court doesn’t care about the he-said-she-said, which are just words without meaning. Remember, when someone lies and files petitions making false accusations against you, breathe. Repeat the mantra, these are only words and these words have no meaning. There are no fact that uphold these words.
After you step away from the fear, anxiety, anger, calmly begin gathering facts that counter the false claims. Compile the information in an organized way. Label it clearly. These things are needed when you give your response.
And gently remind yourself, over and over and over, if you need to:
These are only words. They do not mean anything. Nothing has changed.
And the next time you see your child(ren), look them in their eyes and remember how much you love them, how much you want what is best for them, how this whole court thing is stressful for them, even though you don’t talk about it and then wrap them in your arms and tell them just how much you love them. Spend quality time with them, even if other home duties are delayed another day.